Seeking wholeness instead of perfection

What does wholeness mean to you? Big question. And I fully admit that none of the potential answers I have considered completely fit the bill. Perhaps that's because, every now and then, I search for perfection. The perfect answer. The perfect prayer. The perfect pair of shoes – yes, the quest continues! What I have discovered is that perfection has little to do with wholeness. Imperfection is a better fit.

There are countless examples of imperfection in many spiritual practices – the broken glass replaced with gold that allows the light to enter, the Navajo blankets with a “spirit line”, an intentionally askew weave woven into the patterns as a threshold for Spirit to enter – these and many others point to the role that imperfection plays in wholeness. A quiet one, but the starring role, nonetheless. And yet, we miss this point, especially in painful times. And these, dear readers, are painful times indeed.

Days where we struggle to make meaning and nights where madness lies in the shadows and mystery is hidden above the clouds. During these times, wholeness does not rest in days or nights of perfection but, rather, in the excruciatingly uncomfortable reality of a world coming apart at the seams. We long for perfect relationships, perfect leaders, perfect experiences. The fruitless search is exhausting.

Wholeness must include the broken as well as the beautiful, in the world and in each of us. For it is this brokenness that makes a space for grace, a space for the Light to get in, a Spirit Line for peace to wrap itself around us and warm our souls.

Wholeness is the balance of opposites, and that balance teeters on the fulcrum of comfort/discomfort. We are surrounded by crowds and yet are lonely. We live our best days while others are in deep struggle. We close our hearts as protection and the smile of a child cracks them wide open, vulnerable and generous again. We choose courage and then shake with questioning fear. And all this while navigating the holy days of February.

Imbolc, Candlemas, the feast of St. Blaize as well as celebration days from the Eastern Traditions fill our calendars along with one of the holiest of Christian days – Ash Wednesday. The beginning of the Lenten Season for followers of The Christ stares at us and challenges us to seek a greater sense of wholeness through the harsh and uncomfortable balancing of a seasonal reality check for our spiritual lives. Deep work. Hard work. Aching work. But, do this work, we must. Turn the wheel, bless the candles, sit in darkness and bless the throats. Embrace the ashes. We cannot escape the reality of difficult times and we cannot ignore the deep work.

We walk through it all leaning on each other, leaning on Spirit, cracking open a bit each day. For this, we get a little closer to wholeness, we become the Light for which the world searches. We walk! And we come to learn that we don't need perfection. We don't need that perfect pair of shoes. We simply need ones to carry us on this imperfect journey towards wholeness, in every quiet sense of the word.

The Reverend Dr. Deborah Darlington walks the path with peoples of all beliefs. She can be reached at GraceMatters@TheSpaceForGrace.com for sacred celebrations, inspirational speaking and other spiritual support.