GraceNotes: Holding the Space for … Reflection

#48 — April 1, 2016

All, everything that I understand, I only understand because I love.

— Leo Tolstoy

Greetings, Inspired Seekers:

What does it mean to be “in love?” As wedding season approaches during these times of world suffering and political upheaval, I find myself asking this question with each passing day. And it is not easy to answer. Love is complex. Love is messy. And love is the basis for the religions of the world - really.

Sikhism offers: Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.

“If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another,” quotes The Buddha.

The Hindu writings offer: The one who loves all intensely begins perceiving in all living beings a part of himself.

And, the Christian passage most often read at weddings comes from Corinthians: Love never fails.

So, I repeat, what does it really mean to be “in love?” For love is a state of being. It is the presence we are and the presence we bring into each encounter. Or is it?

It seems to me that, at times, we value other things much more than we value love. And, in those times, are not our choices compromised? For when we are living in love, we are generous. With everyone. But we know that that is not always the case.

If we are “in love,” why do we so often value the intellect over the heart? Why do we act out of the need for power rather than the need for love? If we are “in love” why do jealousy, anger, greed and arrogance guide our decisions? Why does fear seem to win all too often?

If love is the value and the virtue that really is our foundation, how do we live it? Every day? All the time? How do we mindfully love in a world that sees abundance rather than scarcity? How do we let love flow into all things. It is not easy. But, maybe it is not supposed to be.

In all things, at all times - not just when we walk down the aisle to take our vows - let us really remember: Love never fails. And let us trust in that. For then, being “in love” just might be our constant state. And how might that change the world?

Grace-Fully Yours,
Reverend Deborah

Monthly Affirmation: I am in love all the time.

The Reverend Dr. Deborah Darlington celebrates weddings for people of all beliefs with ceremonies that are individually crafted. If you have a special day approaching, give her a call at 215 260 1611 or email her at and let her create a ceremony just for you and your beloved.